#GraduateStory | Tang Bangshuo: Colorful Snowflakes Drifting Down

At our first grade assembly in Grade 12, my College Counselor asked what I had learned and felt while reading graduates' stories on the school's official WeChat account. I said I could imagine myself writing one someday. Now I would add that putting a period of our lives into words can help us understand what we have experienced and give it a fitting conclusion.

Part 01 Exploring My Interests

I applied to study psychology. My earliest interest probably began with a desire to understand.



In middle school, I longed to discover something that would give me a sense of certainty. I was rather cynical then. By chance, I encountered The Courage to Be Disliked, which proves that even a self-proclaimed cynic can fall for a bestseller. I used its idea of separating tasks as a reason to stop speaking to a friend I disliked at the time. We are now very good friends, an embarrassing reversal of my earlier conviction. For a while, I believed that ending the friendship was my only option.

Later, I read On Becoming a Person. Like The Courage to Be Disliked, it was promoted as a book about psychology. Carl Rogers's ideas felt much gentler than the principle of separating tasks that I had embraced. I was drawn to that warmth, and my attachment to the version of Alfred Adler's ideas presented by the Japanese authors began to loosen. I wanted to understand the reasons behind other people's behavior, including the things that irritated me. I also hoped to offer my friends some of the warmth I had found in Rogers's writing.



In high school, my internal disagreements often held up my activities. One project that felt more natural was a WeChat public account I ran with classmates. We took turns publishing pieces and organizing our thoughts through writing, which often relieved my stress. At first, much of my work concerned those internal conflicts. A Word document offered somewhere to work through them patiently. I created a separate file for each school year and saved that year's writing in it. Whenever I had an idea, I opened the files almost automatically. In psychology classes and independent study, I connected concepts with everyday experiences and expressed those connections in essays and poems, or short fiction. I considered creative writing as a major, though I felt my English needed further development before I could pursue it confidently.

Part 02 Applying to University

By the time I realized my first two years of preparation were over, I felt dissatisfied with what I could include in my applications. Looking back, I had spent considerable time deciding whether to undertake activities while paying too little attention to what I wanted to do. I would describe my high school years as ordinary and sincere.

During applications, I deliberately gave more attention to whether I genuinely wanted to apply to each university. That sometimes created difficulties for my teachers and parents, and I appreciate their understanding and patience. Thank you to my parents, and to Ms. Zhang and Ms. Liu, who spoke with me frequently throughout application season.

The hardest part was reconciling what I wanted to communicate with the evidence I had available. I hoped to present my exploration of myself in a way admissions readers could evaluate. My activities offered limited material for that, while my essays and research papers more readily suggested a student focused on scholarship. I kept trying to include my creative writing in my personal statement, with disappointing results. Eventually, I recognized that emotions were what motivated me to write. I described learning to coexist with those emotions: they fell like snowflakes of different colors, while I sat among the shrubs making snow sculptures and waiting for people to appreciate my work.

Writing my personal statement prompted me to investigate why I wanted to share a particular part of myself with others. The application process gave me a rare opportunity to ask that question in depth.

Part 03 What I Learned in Three Years

High school added to my understanding of how to live with others. Repeated attempts and setbacks helped me find conclusions I could articulate about ideas I had once held defiantly. The most interesting realization was initially the most painful: everyone develops their own guide to life, different in every detail, from its contents and cover to the feel and scent of its pages. Borrowed ideas change once we incorporate them into our own experience, creating new possibilities. Perhaps this is what Laozi meant by finding a suitable place to live. What truly suits us has a way of finding its place in our lives.

Part 04 Advice for Younger Students

Recently, I watched a video of a middle-aged woman seeking advice about retiring five years early. She wanted to pursue her interests, spend time in Xinjiang, learn about Uyghur culture, and study Uyghur dance. The person advising her suggested thinking more broadly. She could organize a group visit, sharing those interests with others and meeting more people. Charging for the trip could also offset some of the salary she worried about losing.

Retirement is still far away for us, but that conversation suggests an approach to organizing activities. If you are unsure how to develop activities around your intended major, consider what you already enjoy doing. Ask which parts you could share, how many people you could involve, and how to attract others with similar interests. These questions may help you discover more possibilities.

My regret is that I arrived at this idea only shortly before graduation and had yet to explore it myself. I hope it encourages some of you to try.

Part 05 A Message from My Parents

For Bangshuo, a reserved and sensitive student, three years at BAID involved gradual adjustment and recovery, followed by substantial growth. We take particular satisfaction in the many subtle ways he has changed. Seeing that development has been our greatest reward from choosing BAID.

After Grade 10 military training, a sudden illness caused him to miss the opening ceremony and a week of classes. Already sensitive and introverted, he felt anxious and repeatedly asked, "Everyone is so accomplished. Can I still catch up?" Throughout Grade 10, he pushed himself hard preparing for TOEFL. His Homeroom Teacher, Ms. Liu Siyu, noticed the pressure he was under. During a meeting with us before Grade 11, she considered his personality and wellbeing and offered invaluable advice. We paused all outside tutoring and deliberately gave him time to follow his own pace. School activities also helped him develop. He found the courage to participate in the English Drama Festival, writing a script and joining rehearsals and performances. Watching him become absorbed in creating and then appear confidently onstage, we saw him developing confidence of his own.

During application season, we experienced the full process of applying to universities in both the United Kingdom and the United States. We sincerely thank his College Counselor, Ms. Zhang Danmeng, for her patience and professional guidance through his uncertainty and anxiety. At every stage, from selecting universities to reviewing experiences and revising essays, she helped him understand himself and recognize his strengths. Her respect and willingness to discuss decisions with him encouraged him to take greater initiative. We began to see more animation and happiness in his smile.

Thank you to Ms. Liu Siyu for patiently talking with him when he was uncertain and searching for direction. She helped him understand himself and accept imperfections, develop his relationships and make sense of his feelings. With her guidance, he gradually reduced his internal conflicts and became calmer and more mature.

We thank all his subject teachers and Ms. Liang Xiao, our Head of Grade, along with the school leaders who supported him with professionalism and patience throughout these years. We appreciate the school's philosophy, Harmony in Diversity, Joy in Learning, and the gradual growth it made possible. BAID's inclusive environment and attentive teachers gave a reserved, sensitive boy who loves writing the opportunity to feel recognized and cared for.

As graduation approaches, we hope Bangshuo carries the courage and confidence he developed at BAID into a future of his own choosing. May he continue growing with optimism and believe in his ability to make the world better.